Person or Persons Unknown
by firefox b
Summary: This is a revisitation of a Season Three Twilight Zone episode in which a character loses his identity. A slight revision to the original has occurred in which the central character has lost his racial identity as well, and is no longer perceived as Caucasian in early 1960's America, although he continues to perceive himself as such.


(David Gurney has had a wild night, awakening in bed fully clothed in a familiar bedroom next to his wife. Gradually his eyes focus on the face of a clock, and he slowly arouses himself to consciousness...)

David: "Uhh...Oh great, just great! Oh never, never again!"

(He regards his sleeping wife...)

David: "Ehh sure, you go right ahead and sleep, no matter what I feel. I'm an hour late for work, but so what? No skin off your pretty little nose, right? Oh boy, what a wife, what a doll of a wife! You could have at least taken my shoes off, 'ya know? I didn't want to go to that stupid party in the first place, I wanted to stay home and read...but no, can't do that, would hurt old Petey's feelings. I have to go to work and suffer all day, she sacks out till noon, that's fair!"

(He unsuccessfully seeks something...)

David: "Wilma? Hey Wilma, what have you done with my razor? Hey common, I'm late, hey Wilma..."

(He shakes his wife, who awakes with a start and and looks at him with alarm.)

David: "Now never mind the drama, just tell me where you put my razor!"

(Wilma utters a shrill scream. David flinches, and moves to cover his ears.)

David: "Ahh! Don't do that, what's the matter with you, you sick or something?"

Wilma: (Alarmed) "Who are you?!"

David: "What?"

Wilma: "What are you doing in my bedroom?!"

David: (Sarcastically) "You mean this isn't the YMCA? Honey, Will you knock it off, I'm late! Now just tell me where you put the razor. Darling, I am in no mood for jokes!"

Wilma: "You get out of here!"

David: (exasperated) "Wilma, Wilma..."

Wilma: "How do you know my name?"

David: "It's on the marriage certificate, remember?"

Wilma: "No mister, I've never seen you before in my life!"

(Scene shifts to Rod Serling...)  
Sterling: "Cameo of a man who has just lost his most valuable possession . He doesn't know about the loss yet, in fact he doesn't know about the possession...because like most people, David Guerney hasn't thought about the matter of his personal or racial identity. But he's going to be thinking a great deal about it from now on, because that is what he's lost, and his search for it is going to take him into the darkest corners of ... _the Twilight Zone._ "

Wilma: "Now look, whoever you are...I don't want any trouble, but if you don't get out of here, I'm going to call the police!"

David: "Go ahead, call the police. Call the fire department, and tell them to bring an oxygen mask, there's a man dying!"

Wilma: "I'm not bluffing. If you don't get off that bed and out of here by the time I count five, I'll call them!"

David: "Come on, calm down, will you? I'm not amused!"

Wilma: "One...two...three...four...five..."

David: "What is the matter with you?"

Wilma: "Don't touch me! Are you here to rob me?"

David: "Oh boy, that's what I call a delayed reaction! Two martinis at midnight, and she gets stoned at 10 o'clock in the morning. Now look, I suggest you go to bed, and sleep it off!"

Wilma: "What are you going to do?"

David: "Change my clothes, if you don't mind! (Rummages) Where are my socks? What in the name of...all right, would you mind telling me what is going on? Where are my clothes? Wait a minute, wait a minute...I do not know what's going on around here, but I suppose it's one of Pete's little ridiculous gags. Well you can tell him for me that it didn't come off. Now I'm going to work, and when I come home, you had better have everything straightened out, do you understand? (Sarcastically) Nope, no no, that's very thoughtful of you, but I'm afraid that I'm not in any mood for breakfast. Thanks anyway!"

(David exits the building, gets in his car, and sees his wife standing at the window. Mutters "Nut!" at her, and drives to the bank where he works. Entering the bank, David sees a security guard, who eyeballs him suspiciously...)

David: "Good morning, Kim."

Kim: "Morning."

(Moving further and seeing other employees, David greets)  
"Hi Jack. Good morning Julie, Fred."

Fred: "Yes Sir, may I help you?"

David: (Seeing a 'Mr. Cooper' sitting at a desk with a client)  
"Sure...who's that?"

Fred: "Well, that's Mr. Cooper."

David: "Well, would you mind telling me what Mr. Cooper is doing at my desk?"

Fred: "Your desk? Beg pardon? We don't employ any people of color here."

David: "People of color? Why, I'm as white as you are!"

Cooper: (to client) "I'm sorry Mr. Kline, without better security I'm afraid there's nothing we can do for you." (client leaves)

David: (to Cooper) "Who the devil are you?!"

Cooper: "How's that? How dare you come in here and talk to me like that?"

David: "I said, who the devil are you, and what are you doing at my desk?"

Cooper: "Your desk? We don't employ any like you."

David: "Like me? That's right, my desk. Now look, I've had just about enough of that today. Now get out of that chair!"

Cooper: "I'll do nothing of the sort. We don't want your kind here."

David: "My kind? Friend, you get out of that chair, or I'll throw you out!"

Cooper: (fearful, discretely pressing a silent alarm button) "There's no need to get excited."

David: "After the morning I've put in, would you be kind enough to take this junk with you?!" (Thrusts name sign from desk at Cooper)

Jim: (to Cooper) "Trouble, Sir?"

David: "Now look Jim, this little joke has gone far enough!"

Cooper: "He says this is his desk!"

Jim: "Well, if you'll just step outside, Sir, I think we can settle this matter."

There is nothing to be settled, except I would like my name plate back and my picture!"

Jim: "I'm afraid I have to insist."

David: "You insist away, I'm not budging."

Jim: "Oh yes, you are!" (Strikes Jim with baton)

David: "Ow! - What's wrong with you, that was uncalled for! Hey, now look Jim, I like you, but you get your hands off me, or I'll see to it that you're fired!"

Jim: "We'll talk about it outside..." (is shoved away hard by Guerney) "Quit resisting! (Draws gun) Put your hands up!"

David: 'What?!"

Jim: "Put your hands up!"

David: "Well, has everyone gone crazy?"

Jim: "You walk three paces ahead of me towards that door. Don't cause any trouble, I don't want to have to shoot. Move, troublemaker! Call the police, Sir."

David: "George, what is this?"

Jim: "Alright, keep moving!"

(Guerney is dragged outside, more harshly than he needs to be.)

David: (to wife, who is standing there with police) "Wilma! Wilma, Will you tell these people who I am?!"

Policeman: (to Wilma) "Is that the man?"

Wilma: "Yes."

Policeman: "What's your name, Mister?"

David: "Ask her!"

Police: "She doesn't know."

David: "She doesn't know? After 11 years of marriage, she doesn't know? - Mrs. Guerney, allow me to introduce myself, I'm David Guerney, your husband, remember? Well don't stand there staring like idiots, I'm David Guerney - now Jim, please, will you tell them? Look now, I've worked with this man for four years. - Julie? - Fred? - George? Will 'ya tell them? Tell them who I am!"

Policeman: "Alright, let's go..."

David: "Wait a minute, wait a minute! Look, you say I'm not David Guerney, right? I'll prove it to you! I'd like to see what you'll say to this! (Whips out wallet) My driver's license and my credit cards, what have you done with them? - Wait a minute, wait a minute...I'm David Guerney, I'm David Guerney!  
(Police car pulls away with Guerney inside)

(At a psychiatrist's office, where the windows are barred...)  
David: "I don't care what you say, I know who I am!"

Psychiatrist: "Mr..."

David: "Guerney! David Andrew Guerney!"

Psychiatrist: "Now there's no need for excitement."

David: "Of course not! All of a sudden everyone's telling me I don't know who I am. and you say there's no reason for excitement. Well, what do you expect me to do, relax?!"

Psychiatrist: "Heheheh...no, I suppose not. I know it must be quite a shock, but if we're going to help you, Mr...you've got to face facts. You see, this man you think you are doesn't really exist, except in your mind. You've invented him. There is no David Andrew Guerney..."

David: "You're lying!"

Psychiatrist: "Oh, come on!"

David: "You're lying, you've gotta be. A man doesn't live 35 years, knowing who he is, and then just because he's lost his driver's license..."

Psychiatrist: "No, no, no, it wasn't just that! This woman, Mrs. Berenser, the one you think you're married to..."

David: "Her name isn't Berenser, it's Guerney!"

Psychiatrist: "I see you're going to require more proof. Well, that can be arranged. Oh, you haven't met your fellow patient. That's Winston Churchill - so he thinks. Poor chap; no one knows who he really is. Now, let me see how I can prove it to you..."

David: "The phone, let me use the phone!"

Psychiatrist: "Of course. What number?" (Calls first the number of David's best friend from school, then his mother. Both deny knowing him. David is anguished, and covers his face with his hands...)

Psychiatrist: "You are David Andrew Gurney, and you have a telephone?"

David: "Yes, I have a phone."

Psychiatrist: "So it's likely your number would be listed in the directory, isn't it?

David: "Yes..."

Psychiatrist: (With phone book) "You'll notice that this is the current edition. Go ahead..."

(Guerney goes through phone book, but fails to find a listing for his name.)

Psychiatrist: "Now do you believe me?"

David: "I don't know...I should. Alright, if I'm not David Guerney, who am I?"

Psychiatrist: "That's what we're going to try to find out."

David: "In other words I'm crazy, just like that guy who thinks he's Churchill, is that what you're trying to tell me?"

Psychiatrist: "Let's just say mentally disturbed. I know that's very difficult to believe, but looking at it logically, there just isn't any other explanation. Some time last night you had what is known as a total loss of orientation. You entered Miss Berensen's house..."

David: "No no no, that's what you want me to believe, but it isn't true because in spite of everything doctor, I know who I am. Now either I am crazy, or someone's going to an awful lot of trouble to block me out."

Psychiatrist: "Now now now, why should anyone want to block you out?"

David: " How should I know? But whoever or whatever it is, they can rig all of the phone books in the world and pay off whoever knew me, but they can never get inside my mind, doctor...and I'll tell you something else they can never do, they can't think of everything."

Psychiatrist: "And what does that mean?"

David: " Just that. A man's life is made up of a million details, doctor, and some of those details are private. Now I've done things, I've gone places that I've never told anyone about, not even my wife!"

Psychiatrist: "Of course. I'm sure that's quite true. Now suppose that we go back to your room, and you can think about it."

David: "No, you think about it, because I'm going to go out, and find one of those details now!"

( David Guerney leaps through a window, steals a van, goes to a bar, and begins talking to a bartender.)

David: "Now wait a minute, before you say one word, give me a drink."

Bartender: "Anything in particular?"

David: "The usual."

Bartender: "Huh?"

David: "The usual...Irish whiskey."

Bartender: "Sorry buddy...hey, do you have money to pay for this?" (pours drink)

David: "Sam...look at me."

Bartender: " I'm looking at you."

David: "Who am I?"

Bartender: "How many guesses do I get, huh?"

David: "No, think, Sam. Who comes in here every Friday night for the last three years."

Bartender: "My wife."

David: "Who else?"

Bartender: "A lot of people come in here."

David: "What about Dave Guerney?"

Bartender: "Who?"

David: (to himself) "They got to him, too...alright, but how? I kept this place a secret. I never told anyone about it!"

Bartender: "You like another drink?"

David: "Yeah. Sam, what would you do if all of a sudden, everybody started telling you that you weren't you? And even thought that you were of a different race?"

Bartender: "What?"

David: "I mean everybody, your wife, your friends, everybody. Everyone suddenly couldn't recognize you anymore. And they were telling you there was no such person as Sam Baker."

Bartender: "I'd tell them to switch brands."

David: "But you wouldn't believe them. ..give me another one."

Bartender: "I think you've had enough."

David: "Oh, I've had more than enough, Sam."

Bartender: "How do you know my name?"

David: "Because we're friends. You're wife's name is Pearl. Your kids name's are Joey and Linda. You live in White Oak. You used to be a prizefighter, 'Powerhouse Baker.' Your picture is right up there, second from the end, right next to Harry Grimm...wait a minute, wait a minute!

Bartender: "Are you alright?"

David: "I think so! Just keep your fingers crossed, Sam. I think I may have found that little detail they overlooked!"

(Guerney leaves, and goes to a photo development center.)

Clerk: "What's the number again?"

Guerney: "6708777."

Clerk: "Are you sure?"

Guerney: "Positive. Look, the photographer gave me a slip, and I lost it. But I remember that number, because of the four 'sevens.'

Clerk: "Maybe your wife's got it?"

Guerney: "My wife doesn't even know the picture was taken. I was going to surprise her.

Clerk: "You sure it was on the 14th?"

Guerney: "Yes, it was on a Sunday, and we were at the zoo."

Clerk: "Oh, I'm sorry, Mister...hey wait, is that a 'seven' or a '1.'"

Guerney: "A 'seven.'"

Clerk: "Is that it?"

Guerney: "Yes, yes, that's it."

Clerk: "Are you ok, Mister?"

Guerney: Yeah, I'm fine."

Clerk: "OK, that'll be $1.75." (Guerney turns to leave) ""Hey wait a minute, you owe me money!"

(Guerney is met at the door by the psychiatrist, accompanied by police officers.)

Guerney: "Well doctor, what brings you here?"

Psychiatrist: "I might ask you the same question. If you really wanted to elude us, you know you shouldn't have left that stolen car downstairs."

Clerk: "This man owes me money!"

Guerney: "Yes, and do you know what for, Doctor? Proof that I'm not crazy. I told you they couldn't think of everything, and I was right!"

Psychiatrist: "I suppose you found a signature, or a receipt."

Guerney: "Oh, but that wouldn't be proof, would it, Doctor, because I could have signed a signature anytime, Doctor, right?"

Psychiatrist: "Right."

Guerney: "Or had a card printed up, or faked a driver's license."

Psychiatrist: "Right."

Guerney: "But what about a photograph, Doctor? What about a photograph of me holding hands with a girl who claims she never laid eyes on me before this morning. How would you explain that? Take it out and look at it, and then think up some answers!"

((The psychiatrist looks at the photograph, which reveals only a picture of David Guerney as a dark-skinned man.)

Guerney: "Well?" (Looks at altered photo) "Why, I saw her!" (To clerk) "Look, you saw her! You saw my wife!"

Clerk: "Oh listen Mister, you didn't show me nothing!"

Guerney: "I tell you, she was there! We were together! No, we were together! We were together..."

(Scene changes to the bedroom of David and Wilma Guerney. David is again lying fully clothed on the bed, muttering "We were together." Aroused by this, Wilma stirs from beneath the covers.)

Wilma: "Dave? Wake up, Honey, wake up!"

Guerney: "Oh Wilma, Wilma!"

Wilma: "Wait a minute, let me get this junk off my face. But don't go away." (She goes to remove a concealing "beauty mask.")

Guerney: "Oh don't worry, I won't."

Wilma: "What's the matter, Honey, you sound terrible. Did you have a nightmare?"

Guerney: "Oh Baby, I had a nightmare. The grand-daddy of them all!"

Wilma: "Well, that will teach you to mix Scotch and martinis!"

Guerney: "Yeah, that'll teach me all right."

Wilma: "I'm sorry I didn't put you in your pajamas, Honey, but I was a little out of things myself. You forgive me?"

Guerney: "Yeah, sure, sure.." (He looks at his wife's face now fully revealed, but fails to recognize her. The face he now beholds is morphing rapidly, changing from Caucasian to African-American to Asian to Hispanic and back again. Guerney looks at the ever-changing features of the woman, uncomprehending and afraid...)

Wilma: "Well, you're in a rare mood. - Honey, what's wrong? Are you ill? - Hey, why are you looking at me like that? Dave, Honey...Dave?"

(Scene shifts to Rod Serling, in early 1960's suit with skinny lapels, and narrow tie. He is holding a lit cigarette...)

Sterling: "The races of men. Is this a case of mistaken identity, or a nightmare turned inside out? A simple loss of memory, or the end of the world? David Guerney may never find the answer, but you can be sure he's looking for it...in " _The Twilight Zone."_ (theme plays hauntingly)


End file.
